Day Four

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It’s Opening day and for the first time in years I saw the Tiger’s first pitch. Amazing how good just seeing the green grass and some baseball can feel. Today I took my first walk outside this year. Not a technical first in some respects, but considering how long this damned winter has been – it is a huge step forward for me mentally. I was so sore from working hard in training yesterday that I could hardly move. Once I did warm up I was flying. It felt amazing.

As I walked I thought about all of the stressors I take into myself. Money worries, guilt – so much it’s insane, self conscious bs. They work into me and define me and dominate me. They have to be broken; I have to break out from under their control because they are not under my control either. Things that no matter how much I ruminate on – will not, can not, be changed by me. So why worry about them.

All we can do is the best with what we are given. And help those who have been given less.

There are countless inspirational stories of people who have mastered the controllable environment around them and have created a better world in return. Creating a better world is the best we can hope to do with our lives, isn’t it? I want to leave this world better off for having had me in it. Maybe one of my firsts will eventually be casting off some of the stressors and anxieties that tie me down. Because if I don’t then who will. How can I change anything if I cannot change myself.

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