Day Eight

time

Happy Friday. Day Eight. Awesome.

Six weeks left and this past week went well. Can I say that I am a better person then I was, that I know more about the world and myself? I think so. The progress is slow and that’s just something I’m going to have to accept. At least I’m progressing, that’s all any of us can do. Move on, up, forward. I will devote the rest of my life to learning, growing, accepting, appreciating. How long will I be doing this? I don’t know. I do know that I am getting closer to not worrying about it, to not wanting it to end.

For the first time in my life – I read about time. I mean wiki style – like the definition, scientific and philosophical theories, etc. The learning started when my love sent me an article about the new atomic clock developed by the NIST. It’s amazing. This clock will tell the correct time, within a second, for the next 300 million years if it is allowed to continue running. I take back my earlier sentiment – it is not amazing – but astounding.

The idea of this clock, all it does, and how, raises so many questions. Why do we cling so closely to the notion of time that we need this type of accuracy for so far into the future? Will we even continue to cling to time for as long as this clock is built to run? If not, what will we have moved on to as a species, a planet, an ecosystem?
Time, according to Wikipedia.org, is a dimension in which events can be ordered from the past through the present into the future, and also the measure of durations of events and the intervals between them. Time is difficult to define. A wonderful and simple definition is that time is what keeps everything from happening all at once. Ha. Now that is a great definition. Time is so fleeting, we hardly notice it slipping by, but we never seem to have enough of it. We are all given a certain amount of time to exist on this earth, at least for the lifetime which finds me writing and you reading this post; yet so few are able to understand and appreciate and embrace every moment we have. So much time is spent wasted analyzing what happened in the past, fretting about the future. Do we ever really live in the present? Do we find our minds and bodies here, ready to live, experience and impact others positively right now? Do we understand how lucky we are to have pasts, to have a now, to have a future?
Now I am prone to pontification – a paternal trait I inherited much to many’s chagrin – so I digress. I am not a scifi nut, I am not “religious”, I am not a fatalist, a presentist, an eternalist. I am simply excited to seriously be thinking about time – for the first time in a long time. What my time has meant so far, how I can dig myself out of the hole I have let the past push me into, how I can make my time more productive, more relaxing, more impactful, and finally, how I can look forward to a larger length of time ahead.
A trip that we wanted to take fell through – but now we can go to Nashville as a result. We plan on moving across the country by fall, and we will still be able to see Manchester United play at the Big House before that happens. Time is funny. I am lucky I have time to think about it. I am lucky to have a now. For the first time I am feeling how good it is to be present.
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