Well I’ve made it into the thirties – no meltdowns yet. Not anything major at least.
Today was another training day for me. I had yoga from 7:30-15:30 and it actually went really well. Although, I think knowing that I am like four training days away from this being over with helps a lot with that sentiment. But today’s first was that I followed through on my promise to myself to just not really give a sh!t. I mean – I was nervous and not really looking forward to today – because I just want it over with – however I did at the end of the day lead two classes two separate times. Once for all of five minutes, but another (that I actually helped to create) for about fifteen and I was recorded for my own future reference. I was nervous, but I smiled, didn’t worry about slip ups and mistakes and just soldiered through. I received excellent feedback.
Boom! That’s how you drop the mic!
No seriously though, public speaking has always been a huge issue for me. Basically any situation where I will or can make a fool of myself – I have always avoided. In the past thirty one days I have played soccer and basketball with my husband (for the first time; again – I tend to avoid things I am not good at because I assume the day will end up with me being laughed at), I have led two different yoga groups and I have started to be a lot more honest (still in as nice a way as possible) with friends and family.
I think I am finally starting to see how I can control my fears, trepidations and shortcomings. I can conquer them with sheer will and by absolutely refusing to let me hold me back. I need to continue working towards the person I am meant to be – crushing one fear, barrier and negative thought at a time.
Life is too damned short.
Well you’re in your little room
and you’re working on something good
but if it’s really good
you’re gonna need a bigger room
and when you’re in the bigger room
you might not know what to do
you might have to think of
how you got started
sitting in your little room
Little Room by The White Stripes