Day Thirty Nine

snaking

I am so f#%&ing exhausted. For the first time since I started this madness, I have a ton to say and am too tired to say it. I will return in the morning with more.

Update: Sorry about that. Yesterday was spent cleaning out the basement, kitchen, closets and more for our garage sale this weekend. I felt so exhausted and overwhelmed by the amount of stuff we have – for the first time I got really pissed about it too. In comparison to a lot of friends and family members we really don’t have that much – but to me – it’s like an avalanche of junk.

And the dots are finally connecting as to why I love yin yoga so much. Yin is a place you come to to deal with your sh!t. Not only the physical sh!t you have put your body through (injuries, stress, nutrition deficiencies) but all the mental sh!t you have pent up too. Now seeing all this stuff that we own and want to sell – I fully understand how much I am facing to get to a better place. And honestly, that pissed me off. I ended the day in a fairly sour mood just thinking of the amount of time and money I have spent on all of the material possessions that are now haunting every nook and cranny I peek into. But I also decided late last night (once I had given up trying to sleep for a bit) that I will no longer regret what I have done in my past. I will not dwell on it. It is the past and it will always be there. I have made those decisions and they have made me who I am today – for better or worse – and I am going to work ok being ok with that.

Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure… than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.
-Theodore Roosevelt

Day Nineteen

bloodmn

I think I have a cold. It is the first day of illness this year. Blech!

Last night was the first of four blood moon eclipses we will be able to see over the next eighteen months. We didn’t see it, however, because it was snowing. That’s right; today Detroit woke up to 3 inches of snow – on f#%&ing April 15th – and that means we set the record for the snowiest winter season ever. We are number one! FML. Why is that a point of pride for people? Just because we didn’t break the record before last night’s snow – doesn’t mean no one would have believed us that this winter sucked a$$. Can’t we just remember that it sucked for a lot of people the world over? Never.

I swear, waking up on tax day (which really means nothing to me since I did ours like two months ago), seeing three inches of snow, the temperature outside being 42° less than 24 hours ago and feeling like slow moving crap all day at work, you’d think I would fall apart in my fragile mental state. Right? Well I didn’t. It doesn’t really work like that. Today was a pretty good day despite all the cold and a strengthening cold.

I’ve been adding items to my bucket list. I hate that phrase – it makes me think of that horrible Tim Allen movie. Isn’t that who stars in it? I mean, I never saw it but ya know. That’s what pops in my head. I’ll start calling it my life list. Things to look forward to living for.