To old relics…

Check check….
HA! It’s still here. I just read my Luci post and damn that shit hit hard. 
Crying, the whole works.

Never thought I would revisit this but more and more I find myself (as many do in these wild and crazy times) returning to things, people, habits that make us happy.
Stars know we need it.

Not entirely sure where to begin so I’ll just go for it.
Is it shitty that the pandemic has brought about some of the best months of my life? Forced isolation has brought with it a clarity I have been seeking for a long time.
I now realize why I was anxious to see certain people, to go some places, to partake in some activities.
They were shit really, and only brought me down.

Saying no is something I have always struggled with. The anxiety surrounding the very idea of saying no to any event always seemed so insurmountable, not worth the effort and certainly sure to launch an indelible sense of guilt that would cling to me straight though to the end of said event. Then I would say yes and realize for the hours, days, weeks, months leading up to the event that I was a total asshole. I said yes and didn’t mean it, I should want to do this, I should want to participate, I should be excited. All this shoulding would make me feel shitty. It was shitty to the people, places, things that I said yes to – that I was there and fretting the entire time. It was shitty to myself – putting unnecessary stress on an already anxiety addled mind. 

Isolation has forced habits, new and old, to rise to the surface; making me more productive, leaner, healthier, more mentally stable and confident all because seriously – what’s the fucking point. Life is short, live it. Say “fuck all” and do what we need to do to make the world a better place, do the shit that makes you happy. Damn the man.

By the way, we can’t let the USPS die, we can’t let it be killed. We can’t let that psychotic, racist bastard win. Buy some stamps and send some letters to your reps and senators, sign the petitions and for f**ck’s sake vote in 79 days. Please and thank you.

 

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